Friday night I went to a friends birthday party. It was a great time. I had not seen anyone since I left for vacation, so it was nice to catch up and hear about some of their recent vacations. The party was at our friend Scott's place (it was his birthday) and his place is amazing! I had been there before, but not since they rejuvenated their back porch and driveway. It was like walking into a rain forest. Trees, flowers, plants and beautiful patio lights tastefully placed along the gardens. I could live there....can I Scott? Scott had set up a nice array of spirits and treats. I had to drive home, so I needed to take it slow on my drinking. I got there about 8pm and had about four Corona's over about 2 hours. I then backed off, had a few glasses of water and before I knew it, it was about 12:30pm. It was time for me to go home. I am not a skinny mini and I also drink like a fish when ever possible, so the only thing those four Corona's did was wet my whistle. So I was good to drive home to my place about 15 minutes away.
So on my way home I am contemplating the night, thinking about how nice Scott's place was and how nice it was to catch up with everyone. Next thing I know...BAM!!! I see this sign...
Crap!!! Are you effing kidding me!!! My life was flashing before my eyes. I was thinking "I'm done", "how am I going to get to work after getting a DUI", "What will they do with my car when they take me to JAIL!!" and "How much is this going to cost me?". The funny thing is, I wasn't drunk, not even nearly tipsy. I had stop drinking 2 hours earlier, but I know my breath probably smelled of beer and it was almost 1am. They are gonna know I was not at a late night church revival. Having never been through a sobriety check, I had no idea what was going to happen but I figured "honesty" was the best policy.
The Fuzz: Hi Ma'am. I'm Lieutenant Jim Dangle with the D-Town Police Department. Where are you coming from?
Me (looking like a deer in headlights): A party.
The Fuzz: Have you been drinking?
Me: Yes.
The Fuzz: ok, how many did you have.
Me: Uh...a couple.
The Fuzz: Where do live?
Me: Glenside Road
The Fuzz: Ok, Get outta here.
Me: Taking off like I am auditioning for the next Dukes of Hazard movie.
That's it? No "get out of the car and walk this line with your eyes closed while touching your finger to your nose"? What if I had said I had 4? I'd like to know where this cop would of drew his line. I'm pretty sure if I had said 4, even though it was 2 hours ago, he woulda yanked me outta that car faster then he could order and eat a donut from Dunkin Donuts.
I truly do appreciate that they are keeping the roads safe and since that road is the main route from Dub-C to D-Town I am sure they caught a couple of boozed up college kids that night. But now they have seriously inconvenienced me when I want to go out and have a few drinks in Dub-C. Crap. Well, at least I am not some one's bitch in the county jail right now and you are not reading my story on West Chester Unplugged.
15 comments:
Did he have those mini shorts like Jim Dangle?
I got the feeling he secretly wears Dingle shorts under his uniform.
Jim Dangle.
[swoon]
I kid you not. I was once pulled over [?] in my own driveway.
You guys need a drunk bus out there! I think we should start one; one for me and one for you
That's why I always carry a life sized dummy that can be thrown onto the road. I then yell, "What's that?". When the police approach the dummy that's when I get the hell out of dodge.
Lioux, I'd like to see that story on your blog.
Seriously Mango, I think i am going to have to start calling Rainbow Cab or "Brent Cab".
Better yet Dr. Zibbs, if I only had a donut to toss the other way.
I just posted my story.
A friend got stopped at one of those recently, and he was drunk, but he just said he hadn't been drinking and they let him go. Those sobriety checks work really well!
I got pulled over one night and had get out of the car in the freezing cold and say the alphabet. I was trashed but somehow squeaked through and was let go. Good times.
i haven't thought about those since i lived in the heartland... they were everywhere when i was in High School... glad you didn't have to figure out how to get to work after a DUI...
Hey Smoochies!! Always funny to hear stories about small town "hyper fuzz". In my town, someone once got a DUI for walking down the street. She was talking on her cell phone, so I guess she was "D"ialing "U"nder the "I"nfluence.
Hey, do you think you could shoot me an email? I had a question about one of your previous blog posts. My email is daft_fad@yahoo.com
Ahhh...Drunk Dialing. I should be arrested for that as well.
Hey Sam -
I totally got stopped at one of these on my way back from Jess' last year. I seriously almost shit myself. Thankfully, I had eaten a boatload of crap before I left her place, so I passed the "walk in a straight line with one foot in front of the other" test, the "stand with one foot in the air for a really really long time" test (which would be hard for anyone, drunk or sober), and ultimately, the breathalyzer. All of this in my socks in the dead of winter. Good stuff! All I, too, was thinking was 'how the hell am I going to pay for a DUI.'
Sorry. I stopped in here hoping to get some knitting tips.
Every cop tells me to always say I haven't had anything...you are so lucky!
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