Where's Judge Judy When You Need Her?

This is just despicable. No wonder I hate people. Recently Brent and I have been selling items on Amazon to make a little extra cash, a couple camera's and an old Xbox to be exact. So a couple years ago, Brent won a digital camera at his company's Christmas party. We never used it since the one we already had was better than the freebie. We never even took it out of the box. So we put it up for sale on Amazon. Clean as whistle, brand new, in the box with all accessories. I shipped to a woman who's name I am changing to "Piece of Shit" or "POS" for short. So "POS" received her camera last week and I got this email from her:

The camera I purchased does not work properly.

I thought it was batteries, so I purchased new batteries, that did not help. I then purchased a new picture card and that didn't seem to make a difference either...
The lens doesn't go in and out..it seems to be stuck.

I would like to send the camera back for a full refund..what is your return policy and method..

Thank you.

And I thought...hmmm..brand new camera doesn't work? That's weird. But being the good, trusting person that I am I told her to send it back to me, I was very sorry and I'd be happy to issue her a full refund.

So I get the camera back yesterday, pop some batteries in it and sure enough the lens is acting weird and the the camera is making a funny sound. But wait...this isn't my camera!! It had a crack on the side (obviously from droppage), scratches all over what used to be a nice new shiny camera body, there is dirt around the shutter button from grubby hippie hands taking pictures and the power button is well worn. And what's this?? The sticker that has the serial number that matches the box I sent it in is on top of another sticker with a different serial number! You "POS" hippie mother effer. To top it all off, I find this picture dated 12/9/07 stored in the camera.

So, no you little "POS" hippie mother effer, unless you can prove to me and we have agreed upon that there some strange time warp between where you and I live that damages items, turns time back a year and where you cut down Christmas trees in October, you are not getting a refund! So I send her this email with pictures of who I assume is her husband attached:

I received the camera today you sent back to me and I am sorry to tell you
that I will not be issuing you a refund. The camera you sent back to me is
obviously not the same camera that I sent you. The camera I sent you was
brand new, this camera has been dropped and has a crack on the side and many
scratches. Not only that, but there are pictures on this camera of a man
cutting down Christmas trees in the snow and the date states 12/9/2007 and
pictures of the same man cooking in a kitchen (please see attached). Also, I
believe you took the serial number sticker off of my camera and put it on
top of the serial number sticker on your camera so that it would match the
serial number on the box I sent the camera in.

The effing "POS" ordered my camera and thought she would send me back her broken camera, ask for a refund and get a free brand new camera. Listen you little "POS", you gotta get up pretty damn early to try to pull this shit over on me. Seriously, how stupid does she think I am?? Obviously pretty stupid, I guess. So I got this email from her this morning:

It was my daughter who package the camera and sent it to you....please send
the camera back and I will ask her if she mixed the cameras up...She had
the same camera and liked it so well...I believe that is why she wanted the same
one. This was not not done intentionally...I am sorry for any
inconvenience. Just please send it back and we will gladly pay for
it.

Sure...if you even have a daughter and she just unintentionally "mixed" up the serial number stickers. Give me a break "POS". If you have a daughter, you are even more despicable then I originally thought for blaming your little game of thievery on her.

I am going to send her the camera back because technically it is hers, but I am going to tell her to not even think about sending back my new camera to me because she is not getting an effing refund, no way, no how. Don't think I didn't document every email and take pictures of the broken camera she sent me. And if she bitches and complains to Amazon about getting her money back, I'm gonna sick this bitch on her...